How to find (and keep!) Sexting Buddies
As anyone who’s done it knows, there’s no other social situation quite like sexting. It’s not quite the same as a hook-up, but it’s also not a casual chat either. There are issues of consent involved as well, which makes things even more complicated. Daunted? Don’t be – just keep these simple tips in mind.
Not all sexting involves pictures or video, but when it does, things can get awkward very quickly. You may not have any idea what the other person looks like at first, and then be put on the spot when they suddenly send you a sexy photo and you realize you don’t find them attractive. Something is too big, too small, too hairy, too jiggly, too strangely shaped – but whatever the reason for this, you should try to show as little of that negative reaction as possible to your partner. It’s okay to just end the encounter if you really don’t have any interest left, but even though they’ll probably guess what happened, don’t point it out. Treat them as you would want to be treated in that situation.
Respect Your Partner’s Time
Don’t let the fact that your partner is behind a screen make you forget that they’re a real person with a life and concerns of their own. Just because your sexting date didn’t involve travelling to a physical location doesn’t mean it isn’t rude to be noticeably late or to cancel abruptly. On the same note, try not to let the session run too long unless it’s clear that that’s what you both really want. Few people have the spare time to go on sexting indefinitely, and you can always set up another session for when you’re both free again.
Ask Permission to Take Keepsakes
It’s obviously fine to enjoy whatever pictures and messages you get while you’re in the middle of a sexting session, but if you plan on saving them for later, you should ask your partner first. If they say no, it’s absolutely vital that you respect that and let those logs and photos go, no matter how much you might want to keep them. Doing otherwise (or keeping them without ever asking regardless) is a serious breach of trust that will not be appreciated by your partner if they ever find out, and in some circumstances could get you in trouble with the law. Don’t take that chance.
Be Willing to Go Above and Beyond
Being a good sexting partner means matching or exceeding the other person’s engagement level. Don’t feel pressured to do anything you’re truly uncomfortable with, but try your best to accommodate any requests your partner makes. If they want to try something a little off-beat, indulge them. If they want something a little elaborate (thing scripts and costumes), try and make it happen. This extra effort won’t go unnoticed, and they’ll probably go out of their way to please you in return.
Love xxx – Mary Joe